Life is fragile

When you get that call that someone close to you, that you love dearly, has been in an accident. Your heart slows down to slow motion, your blood stops pumping through your head as you usher in silence to hear the words that come next...but she is okay. She has broken her vertebrae after being thrown off the back of a motorbike that collided with a car. She is not paralysed. She is not dead. The tears flow in relief and fear at what could have been. At who you could have lost. And you are in awe of how fragile life can be. And you are so grateful to still have her in your life.

Thank you for not taking her early.

Gods delay is not Gods denial

If you believe in God of course, I suppose this could give one a sense of comfort that the higher power may just be in control and one's disappointment is easier to process as it suggests there is hope. God in the sense that there is a plan for every one of us as we meander through this lifetime with the karmic load we carry, the lessons we need to unfurl, the learning we need to embrace. God in the sense of a higher power, the source of all beginnings, to which we all return in essence? Well, that is the God I understand. So I will take comfort in these words, if I may.

Our journey across the seas is almost here - so excited. We leave for USA on Saturday where we spend 4 nights in Hollywood, Florida (yes, there is another small Hollywood in Florida) and I attend a conference and, hold thumbs, win a Maxi marketing award - if not I fear my CEO will regret having sent me at huge expense. However, after that, me and my love head off for a Mexican adventure. Cancun to Chichen Itza, to Coba, to Tulum, to Playa Del Carmen, to Izla Cozumel and back to Cancun, then to Miami and back home. I am busy packing in my usual over-prepared frenzy. I will pack light. Ja right. I will try to pack light!

We got our Mexican Visa after a rushed flight and hairy drive through torential rains and floods to Pretoria - weren't sure we were going to get there, but we did and a sweet Mr Edgar Hurtado whipped the visas together in only an hour. Even the 4 hour wait at the airport coming back was worth it - muchos gracias!

Looking forward to living lightly and being free of routine for 2 weeks!

Mayan Cozumel - a shrine to Ixchel

I have my heart set on Mexico. After researching where we would go if we could add Mexico onto the trip, I am sure it has to be the Yucatan Peninsula. And on this trip, we have to go to Isla Cozumel. As a shrine to the goddess of fertility, Cozumel was one of the most important places of pilgrimage in the Yucatan in the centuries before the Spanish Conquest. A visit here was seen as especially important for childless women...

And if I had a girl, the name I keep getting is "Maya". So. We have to go.

Major snag though is the fact that we have to fly to Pretoria and appear in person at the Mexican Embassy - NOT negotiable - to get our Visas. I do not see this as a reason to forget the idea - we will simply have to do it.

So exciting planning this trip! Am waiting for final costs from the travel agent but so committed to going already, we just have to make it work. We will also go to Chichen Itza, Coba, Tulum, Playa del Carmen, Isla Mujeres and of course Cancun....soooooo looking forward to an amazing adventure! White sand, turquoise water, Mexico culture and Mayan ruins...here we come...?

Working towards a lower bmi?

Well, on instruction from my FS, I have been working towards lowering my excessive bmi! Okay, I am on a losing weight mission...a diet if you must. And so far I have lost 4.5kg! Yeah! I am committed but in a healthy long-lasting sort of a way. I DO NOT want to be on a starvation diet so I am counting calories (1500+- per day) and I am going to gym. 10 kg to go...

Going to gym is pretty awesome in that you get to subtract 300 calories a pop! So you can eat a little more, or not depending on how badly you crave carbs. While the weight is dropping slowly, it is much more civilised not to be manic-obsessive about the process. On the other hand, I admit, everytime you eat something you really shouldn't, you ponder how many minutes it would take to deduct the credit on the bicycle!!!!

So, all in preparation for my next shot at IVF...hopefully April if all goes well!

And, amazingly exciting news - we are going to America at the end of March! I am going for a conference and DH is coming with so we can extend for a little R and R - hopefully in Mexico - the news was so unexpected but hugely fabulous!

Maybe life will start in the land of the dead? An unexpected miracle as the perfect fertilised egg drifts down the last tube which miraculously has unblocked itself? I do believe in miracles.