Got an sms this morning just after ER saying we got 7 eggs.
And, I admit, disappointment did creep in a little...I was so hoping for a number over 10. But I quickly adjusted my ideal to a new thought - being - just one perfect embie please.
Then I got an email saying....Final count is 10 eggs. 7 will be IVF fertilised (meaning left alone with the little guys to see what happens naturally) and 3 will be ICSI'd (choosing the best looking little guys, cutting off their tails and injecting them directly into the egg)...So I am feeling so much more optimistic! I only ever got 3 or 4 eggs, so 10 is totally awesome. A wonderful top 10.
Next step...fertilisation report at 11am tomorrow...
Then, fert reports day-by-day and depending on what is happening...embryo transfer will be scheduled. This is because we don't know how many eggs will fertilise, how embryos will develop etc. If only a few fertilise then they may want to do a day 3 transfer. If there are many and they are growing well and on time, then they will want to wait until they become blastocysts and then transfer the best ones on day 5.
How wonderful that would be...to get to day 5 with good looking blasts.
Finn & Rebecca
Showing posts with label donor eggs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label donor eggs. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Saturday, December 4, 2010
New directions...
A couple of things happened over the past couple of weeks to put my mind at ease and to reinforce my positivity and sense of purpose on this journey. I went to see a medium. I went to see my Prof. And then I went to see my intuition teacher who also does readings. It was a roadtrip of revelation. Each substantiating the other. All giving me peace and positivity.
My purpose for going to the medium was specifically to see if I could reach my mother in spirit. I got so much more than I expected and there was no doubt that mum was there and communicating with me. Without going into specifics, there was complete knowing that it was her due to the precise details she mentioned. I was completely blown away by the detail and the depth of the information coming to me. And how happy I felt knowing that she is okay and finding her way around her spirit home. Yes, there is a little soul waiting patiently for me and physically I will not be able to have a baby unless I use a donor. They also didn't believe that I would use my sister's egg as I need a stronger, younger egg for this to work and they see this from another donor. I have had to go through this long challenging path as I was not really ready and for some reason, I needed to learn all I have to become the mother I am needed to be. Her guides explained that it will still very much be my baby and all I need is the matter to start the process (donor egg), but that I will nurture and create the baby completely and will feel an immediate soul connection on implantation. This is exactly how it is supposed to be.
The peace I felt from hearing this was like being drenched in warm loving light.
Then, I went to see my Prof and he recommended we go for as young a donor as we can to ensure success. We chatted a little about epigenics, which is ground-breaking research into genetics and dna where it has been proven that lifestyle can change your genetic destiny completely. So as the biological mother, this means everything! As the genetic source (a combination of genes from the egg and sperm) will implant in my body to grow, my body will feed it, stimulate it, my sub-conscious will send ideas and thoughts to it...all contributing to the creation of that baby. As the baby grows in me, those influences may have a direct bearing on how the baby develops. Those influences may contribute to the switching on of specific genes over others. There are epigenic marks which sit on top of your genes, and these determine whether the gene is activated or not. So lifestyle and other influences have a direct bearing on this. This is exciting new science which is completely changing they way we think about genetics and affirms that your dna isn't your destiny. There is more on this fascinating research in Bruce Lipton's "The Biology of Belief".
Anyway, we are on the same page now. And Prof wants to try match us himself to one of their donors. So the plan is as follows...we are going to proceed with an anon donor.
Prof will start looking at the donors already registered with their clinic. He feels that it is important he gets a feeling from knowing me and then meeting the donor to see who would be a best match for me. He wanted to know more about how I was in matric as he believes that after this we can be moulded in many different directions depending on the situation, but that in matric we are at the peak of our potential. We chatted a bit about what our most important criteria are in choosing the genetic contribution to what will become our baby. I told him that she needs to be a similiar look and height to me, preferably blue or green eyes and that she had to be bright! He promised to call me on 2 December with this selection and to chat about the next step. We are hoping to do a Feb, Mar, Apr or May cycle!!!!
The third visit was with Michelle, my intuition teacher and a skilled intuitive in her own right. While she knows me and has been part of the last 4 years of this journey, I felt it was time to come full circle with a reading from her. And it was amazing. Again, everything her guides told her was in complete synchronicity with the messages I had already received. And she added even more insight, bringing to a close at last, my desire to understand why I have had to endure such anguish trying to have a baby.
Everything now points to this outcome with absolute certainty and I am completely at peace with our new direction. My fears of not co-creating our genetic child are fading and I am instead excited at the prospect of welcoming the child that was always supposed to come to me...just in a different and special way!
My purpose for going to the medium was specifically to see if I could reach my mother in spirit. I got so much more than I expected and there was no doubt that mum was there and communicating with me. Without going into specifics, there was complete knowing that it was her due to the precise details she mentioned. I was completely blown away by the detail and the depth of the information coming to me. And how happy I felt knowing that she is okay and finding her way around her spirit home. Yes, there is a little soul waiting patiently for me and physically I will not be able to have a baby unless I use a donor. They also didn't believe that I would use my sister's egg as I need a stronger, younger egg for this to work and they see this from another donor. I have had to go through this long challenging path as I was not really ready and for some reason, I needed to learn all I have to become the mother I am needed to be. Her guides explained that it will still very much be my baby and all I need is the matter to start the process (donor egg), but that I will nurture and create the baby completely and will feel an immediate soul connection on implantation. This is exactly how it is supposed to be.
The peace I felt from hearing this was like being drenched in warm loving light.
Then, I went to see my Prof and he recommended we go for as young a donor as we can to ensure success. We chatted a little about epigenics, which is ground-breaking research into genetics and dna where it has been proven that lifestyle can change your genetic destiny completely. So as the biological mother, this means everything! As the genetic source (a combination of genes from the egg and sperm) will implant in my body to grow, my body will feed it, stimulate it, my sub-conscious will send ideas and thoughts to it...all contributing to the creation of that baby. As the baby grows in me, those influences may have a direct bearing on how the baby develops. Those influences may contribute to the switching on of specific genes over others. There are epigenic marks which sit on top of your genes, and these determine whether the gene is activated or not. So lifestyle and other influences have a direct bearing on this. This is exciting new science which is completely changing they way we think about genetics and affirms that your dna isn't your destiny. There is more on this fascinating research in Bruce Lipton's "The Biology of Belief".
Anyway, we are on the same page now. And Prof wants to try match us himself to one of their donors. So the plan is as follows...we are going to proceed with an anon donor.
Prof will start looking at the donors already registered with their clinic. He feels that it is important he gets a feeling from knowing me and then meeting the donor to see who would be a best match for me. He wanted to know more about how I was in matric as he believes that after this we can be moulded in many different directions depending on the situation, but that in matric we are at the peak of our potential. We chatted a bit about what our most important criteria are in choosing the genetic contribution to what will become our baby. I told him that she needs to be a similiar look and height to me, preferably blue or green eyes and that she had to be bright! He promised to call me on 2 December with this selection and to chat about the next step. We are hoping to do a Feb, Mar, Apr or May cycle!!!!
The third visit was with Michelle, my intuition teacher and a skilled intuitive in her own right. While she knows me and has been part of the last 4 years of this journey, I felt it was time to come full circle with a reading from her. And it was amazing. Again, everything her guides told her was in complete synchronicity with the messages I had already received. And she added even more insight, bringing to a close at last, my desire to understand why I have had to endure such anguish trying to have a baby.
Everything now points to this outcome with absolute certainty and I am completely at peace with our new direction. My fears of not co-creating our genetic child are fading and I am instead excited at the prospect of welcoming the child that was always supposed to come to me...just in a different and special way!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Time out
My worst nightmare since starting out this journey 11 years ago, is starting to happen. Even my FS's are starting to give up on me. Yes. The words I hoped I would never have to listen to were said this morning. Poor egg quality.
My 36 year old eggs seem to be way older than their years. The Prof is on a conference and Dr S has been looking after me this cycle. He is puzzled as I have been pregnant with two ectopics (both would have been viable pregnancies if in my uterus) and with the first IVF (later m/c). But even on the first IVF my embryo quality was not great. In the past two cycles, I have only produced grade 2 and 3 embryos - slow developing and haven't even grown past a 7 cell on day 6. He feels this means that my egg quality has gone downhill fast, and I face the odds as not only am I a poor responder, now my egg quality doesn't look that hot at all.
This means that I could do cycle after cycle, getting only 2 or 3 eggs of poor quality and hope each time that perhaps, just maybe one good one squeezes through. Just the path I was hoping wouldn't be mine. He started chatting about egg donors and even adoption. I so wanted our baby - you all know what I mean - my eyes, my toes. I keep thinking about the ectopics and how close we got. And how unfair it all is. Just because of an infection I got when I was 19 resulted in damaged tubes that cannot carry an embryo to it's resting place. Now because of all the wasted time trying, my eggs seem to be on a time out.
How do you give up your DNA? How do I go down that road now? How do I accept that I could never say "you look like me when I was small"?
I am not sure what to do now. Maybe try one or two more cycles next year? Dr S also suggested that we do very low stims and monitor progress and perhaps cancel before retrieval if follicle count not good. But he agrees the odds are against us and suggests we think through all the options.
For now, I will rest my weary mind and punctured body.
My 36 year old eggs seem to be way older than their years. The Prof is on a conference and Dr S has been looking after me this cycle. He is puzzled as I have been pregnant with two ectopics (both would have been viable pregnancies if in my uterus) and with the first IVF (later m/c). But even on the first IVF my embryo quality was not great. In the past two cycles, I have only produced grade 2 and 3 embryos - slow developing and haven't even grown past a 7 cell on day 6. He feels this means that my egg quality has gone downhill fast, and I face the odds as not only am I a poor responder, now my egg quality doesn't look that hot at all.
This means that I could do cycle after cycle, getting only 2 or 3 eggs of poor quality and hope each time that perhaps, just maybe one good one squeezes through. Just the path I was hoping wouldn't be mine. He started chatting about egg donors and even adoption. I so wanted our baby - you all know what I mean - my eyes, my toes. I keep thinking about the ectopics and how close we got. And how unfair it all is. Just because of an infection I got when I was 19 resulted in damaged tubes that cannot carry an embryo to it's resting place. Now because of all the wasted time trying, my eggs seem to be on a time out.
How do you give up your DNA? How do I go down that road now? How do I accept that I could never say "you look like me when I was small"?
I am not sure what to do now. Maybe try one or two more cycles next year? Dr S also suggested that we do very low stims and monitor progress and perhaps cancel before retrieval if follicle count not good. But he agrees the odds are against us and suggests we think through all the options.
For now, I will rest my weary mind and punctured body.
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