Finn & Rebecca

Finn & Rebecca

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Gratitude for the week that flew by

And it did. Fly by. The week. Thank God as it was a hectic one. Work is becoming interesting again with increased stress and anxieties, demands and challenges - all just dandy for Type A personalities which I am. However, my ranking has slipped up somewhat I feel, down to the lower end of a true Type A. I am less affected by previously rankling irritations, I sweat less about the small stuff, am less concerned overall about issues which in the past stressed me out. Is that a sign of boredom? When you stop caring about your work, is it time for a change? Not sure. Just hope that time will ease me into whatever direction is in my destiny. I still desire success, but not as strongly as I used to. Perhaps I am nearing change?

So for the week that flew past...

Tuesday: Thank you for the beautiful sound of the raging sea as I went to sleep.
Wednesday: Thank you for the moon, getting fuller every night.
Thursday: Thank you for the tinkling sound of the bells hanging in the tree in our garden.
Friday: Thank you for Persia getting through her sterilisation operation without any glitches - just in time as a big ginger tom has been hanging about!

And today...thank you for all the beauty in our garden with its birds, bees and butterflies...

And so we head towards IVF#4. Will the next 2 weeks also fly by? Will I feel more ready this month? How will I approach it this time? What should my strategy be? How do I protect myself? I will gather my strength up again, hand it over to the universe and take it one day at a time. Again.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Gratitude for Cardiologists

What a divine Dr. Divine as he has declared me fit and also such a cheerful, friendly fellow.

I am not going to die from a heart-attack, thank goodness. I have what is called supraventricular paroxysmal tachycardia. Not a serious form of tachycardia which essentially means heart palpitations - caused by a dodgy electric circuit connection on my upper ventricle that then loops and starts making the heart beat really fast. This does not cause long term damage and can respond to certain methods like holding one's breathe or massaging the carotid artery in the neck or even splashing one's face with cold water. Pills can be prescribed if the palpitations happen more regularly and eventually a small procedure, called an ablation, using a catheter through the groin to laser the dodgy electric connection in my heart can be done...but not yet.

So thank you for cardiologists...especially sweet ones that tell me my heart is just fine.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Gratitudes for the week that was

I seem to be waning a little but time tears by and while I am thinking about my gratitiudes on a daily basis, I haven't been posting. Will just have to post the collection then for the week that was...

Thursday: Thank you that I didn't drop dead from a heart attack at the age of 37. My heart starting fluttering after a hectic session at gym, and together with lightheadedness, a little nausea and a feeling of something sitting on my chest and general displacement - very strange...all not great signs according to Dr Google. I found out years ago from my GP that I have a heart murmer (why, I am not sure) and about 6 years ago went to a cardiologist as I was spinning 4 times a week at the time and getting continual heart palpitations that would last for hours. Anyway, he wasn't that concerned and told me to come back when I am 50. I still get palpitations now and then but what happened at gym was new. And scary. So off to a cardiologist on Monday for a check-out...mmm. He better not tell me to stop exercising - just as I am starting to take shape!

Friday: Thank you for the power of the ocean. sitting next to the crashing waves at the Bell with a Windhoek draught. Nice.

Saturday: Thank for you being to able to share the joy of two people in love getting married. Very special. Love.

Sunday: Thank you for the smell of baking banana bread, brisk sea winds and snoozes on white sheets. Bliss.

And tomorrow another week begins. And I am so grateful to be here.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Gratitude for Basil and Olive Oil

When you don't know what to cook for supper - as long as you have pasta in the pantry, basil in the garden, olive oil and a few other basics - you can create the most scrumptious meal.... Whip up some homemade Pesto using basil, garlic, almonds, olive oil, feta, salt & freshly ground black pepper. Toss this through some hot cooked pasta and serve with a salad sprinkled with a few cashews...yum yum. So today I say thank you for these mouth-watering ingredients and the scrummy dinner we just ate.

And yesterday, I felt overwhelming gratitude for the beauty of the mountain behind our house. I admit that I may just have more than one day of gratitude for this natural wonder - just close enough to see detail on the cliff face and watch the mesmerising cloud whisping over the peaks. I had given DH a lift home from work as his car was in for a service and as a perfect ending to a long day and hours in the traffic, we took a walk up towards the mountain, along Boyes Drive and then back down home. The views are so glorious from up there, the sea rippling onto the shore, False Bay glinting in the purple sunset. Our hearts were beating with flowing energy and our minds soothed by the evening meander.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Gratitude for big cloud skies and skyscapes

The sky outside is beautiful. Pink, purple, blue, grey, orange, puffy, fluffy, flowing, streaky, sculptures of cloud. And the view from the stoep is perfect for big cloud skies. So thank you for beautiful skyscapes.

I was feeling rather down last general. Just not my usual cheerful self really. But I am feeling better now. We were supposed to start IVF # 4 this cycle, but Day 1 suddenly arrived and it just all happened so quickly. I realised that I wasn't ready. So March it is. And I am not going to over prepare this time. I am going in with the outlook that it could work but it probably won't and I REFUSE to believe that this will have any effect at all on the actual outcome...It is time, the universe knows I am ready and I am utterly convinced that it will happen when the time is right. A sentiment easier said than practiced, but I am giving it a shot...

And back to my gratitudes for the week past:

Friday - Thank you for the escapism of movies...took my team to see Valentine's Day instead of working - fab!

Saturday - Thank you for our wonderful vet and his care and sweet words as we fetched our Savannah's ashes. We are going to bury the urn beneath the angel in our garden.

Sunday - Thank you for the fabulously productive day we had! DH and I pottered about the house doing odds and bits that we have been wanting to do for ages - had a great day at home feeling the love...

Despite feeling a little out of sorts, having a scratchy sore throat and going through a clumsy was still a week filled with so many things to be grateful for.

Yesterday also welcomes the Year of the Tiger....let's hope this tiger goes easy on us this year.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Time out

I need a little time out...but promise that I am still remembering my daily gratitudes and will post the week's collection on the weekend. In the meantime, I am grateful for my blog and the ability to express my reality...just need to suspend it for a few days.

Thank you for all your kind words about Savannah xxx

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Gratitude for our beautiful Savannah

Today, I had to hold my beloved dog, Savannah as the vet put her to sleep. It went so quickly. From pain to peace. Her eyes vacant and unseeing. Her spirit free and walking with her old friends.

I am grateful for the 13 years we had with her and we will miss her brave, loyal and loving spirit so very much.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Gratitude for the week off

We had a wonderful time on our week off! Family, celebrations, friends, adventures, great food, great nature - lovely break! So my first gratitude is for the week off. I said I would collect gratitudes for every day we were away, and as I am only posting now, for this week here goes:

Saturday: Thank you for the beautiful drive to Knysna...
Sunday: Thank you for my mums incredible progress with her cancer and for the reprieve she now has...and for being able to spend her 61st Birthday with her...
Monday: Thank you for the Goukamma river and the glorious swims we had...
Tuesday: Thank you for the very special 50th Birthday we had for my DH with great friends and family and the wonderful sunset cruise on the Knysna Lagoon...
Wednesday: Thank you for being able to spend the day with my mum and enjoy a delicious seafood lunch together...
Thursday: Thank you for the crisp fresh fabulous blue sea at Buffalo Bay and apple pie and cream at the Knysna Heads...
Friday: Thank you that I was surrounded by special people on my Birthday and for the amazing alchemy of spices dinner we had at Firefly...
Saturday: Thank you for the last special morning in our magic hideaway overlooking our own vlei and for the special memories of swallows and my new drongo friends...
Sunday: Thank you for the discovery of a new klein karoo jewel on the Gamka River and for spending the night celebrating another family Birthday...
Monday...Thank you for our home waiting for us and a gentle day at work...
Tuesday...Thank you for the burn at the gym even though it was tough work and for the shark spotters who asked surfers to get out of the of whom was about to be my DH...
Wednesday...Thank you the incredible musical talent...watching the Grammy's which I had taped was fact thank you for our that machine...and being able to fast-forward past all ads and silly stuff - so cool...
Thursday...Thank you for the pending arrival of Mish & Aidan and to looking forward to more fab family times this weekend...

A lot to be grateful for...and I am.