Our frontrunning so-called great embie has stopped growing. What a way to start a Saturday. With the call that cuts through your hope and makes that feeling of dread and hopelessness stick in your throat.
The other embie that was rescued with ICSI is still dividing and looks good but who knows what will happen to that one. I know you are meant to stay positive but it is a little difficult when nothing goes according to plan. Now I am aware of putting the reality into prespective (yes....worse things have happened, it could be worse, etc etc), but trust me, any hope that is heartfelt and sincere hurts when it is ripped away.
And so we wait for the call tomorrow when we will hear what has happened to little embie 2. Is he a fighter? Will we still make it to transfer on Monday? I must admit I am feeling helpless and useless and while that is not a natural state for me, it is where I am right now.
I even did a search on "life being childless" and didn't find anything inspirational at all. I can not come to terms with this possibility - it is just not what I saw for my journey in this lifetime. And as for that saying "it is not the destination, it is the journey"....whatever. Those words of wisdom suck right now....