Gratitude for Escapism

Sometimes, we all need a little escapism. You know the kind I mean...like you've had a hectic day at work and you get home and flop out into a fantasy world of TV. Or you have too much on your mind and you need to immerse yourself in a good book or better yet actually get around to do an hour of mediatation. Or you need distraction from a worrying thought that you can't shake, so you have a few glasses of wine. We've all been there.

My mum called yesterday to tell me that she has been coughing up blood. She was diagnosed with lung cancer 9 months ago and has been doing so well, responding to chemo and her treatments. In January, her oncologist told her that the tumours had shrunk and that she only had to come back in 3 months for scan. Now she is going tomorrow as he is also concerned about the coughing. I don't feel good about this. So for some major escapism, we are going to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D this evening...that should just about do it for a few hours of escapism. I pray that the news tomorrow is nothing drastic that will affect her fragile state of hope that she has been clinging to for the past months....

I am on CD4 and started stimming on Thursday. Went in for my antral follie scan on CD2 and there were 3 follies on the one side and 2 follies on the other - nothing unusual there, always about the same. So Prof wanted to start stims immediately and I had a 150 shot of Gonal F at the clinic. I go back for next scan on Tuesday CD6. This is my "I've got nothing to lose" cycle...and as I said previously I am always hopeful of course...but not manically so this time around. More of a meeting halfway...

So today I have gratitude for escapism...when we need it....to bring welcomed relief to worrying times...and a pause to frenzied thought...and hopefully when the short reprieve is over, we are calmer and ready to face whatever is coming.