Twin update - 7 months old!

Age: Can you believe the twins will be real age 7 months old this week!  Adjusted age - we have started only adjusting by about a month so we are now saying they are almost 6 months old...Our Paed said that by about a year old we can stop adjusting their ages and they turn one in just 5 months time! Wow.

Height/Weight: Finn must be close to 8kg and Rebecca 7kg - we will weigh them at babyclinic on Monday.

Developmental notes: The advances in the past few weeks have been amazing. Neither can sit completely unsupported yet, but Rebecca is becoming mobile!  Yes, she flips herself onto her tummy and then gets up on all fours and shuffles forwards and backwards. We cannot leave her unsupervised for a minute and especially on the bed now - heaven only knows what I am going to do with them in the mornings when they are both crawling all over the place and I am trying to get ready for work - going to be interesting! She gets so frustrated when she can't move over a bump or when her arms get tired.

And I am up weeeeeeeeee!

And Finn's first tooth is coming through! Such incredible milestones. They are both getting extremely vocal with all sorts of new sounds.  Rebecca has discovered screaming for the sake of it...not because she is upset, just to hear herself screech. She doesn't respond to me saying "shush" lol. She also gets this quizzical look on her little face as if she is really thinking about what you are saying to her. Finn boy is as cute as ever and croons away singing.  He is such a smiley baby and breaks into a wide grin at each look. Rebecca is not as giving with her smiles but she has the most gorgeous laugh when you crack one. It is amazing how unique each one's character is already and I must wonder how much this is influenced from their journey in my womb.  Finn was always comfy, had loads of food and space whereas Rebecca was fighting for her share of food and space and working on developing as quickly as possible as she knew she would have to be born early as the placenta was already taking strain from pre-eclampsia.



Trying to see the tooth!

 Eating: They are both eating so well. It only took Finn a few days and he was eating like a pro. Sometimes especially if they are tired, they cry a bit during mealtimes and then we have to entice them to eat with lots of "Yum Yums" and "Oooooh yummies"! They have three meals a day - cereal, yoghurt and fruit for breakfast.  Meat, veg, yoghurt and fruit for lunch and cereal and fruit for dinner. They have dropped their milk intake by about 200mls or so - both getting about 500-600mls a day now.  They have both struggled with constipation but thankfully the yoghurt seems to be helping that now - we only added this in a few days ago and there was instant relief for Rebecca.  We had a few horrible nights of her screaming in pain from passing poos.
 

Mmmmm black beans, quinoa, mango and pear!



This eating thing is tricky mum!

Sleep: I am pleased to report that they both seem to be sleeping through again. There have been a few problems here and there but generally we are back to sleep throughs which is fab. Next step is to cut out the 10pm bottle, but we will only do this once their food intake increases.  We will slowly decrease the 10pm bottle in the meantime. DH and I are still sleeping in seperate rooms so that we get a full nights restful sleep every second night.  When on call, the baby monitor still wakes you up everytime they moan or cough - like last night, they woke me at 1h30 and 3am and then Finn woke cramping and crying at 4h30 so I had to fetch him.  It is so blissful when they sleep well and quietly all night long - and we celebrate every night they do!

Favourite Things: Paw-paw is now their favourite thing by far.  Finn makes little whimpering noises and opens his mouth for more and more.  Between the two of them, they ate a whole 1/2 a large paw-paw one lunchtime! They also seem to really like yoghurt.

Dislikes: Neither were too fond of the lamb stew I made - it had baby marrows in it so I think it was a little sour.  But when I added apples and pears, they were much happier about eating it. I hope I am not setting them up for sweet tooths with the fruit and I really hope they are not fussy eaters so we are trying to introduce as many new things as possible now...

Looking forward to: Everything!

Mommy musings: So I have stopped expressing my breastmilk. And it was really sad for me. I decided to stop the Eglanol as I really felt it was time and also I was putting on more weight - a side effect. With that, my milk production halved so I was expressing once a day. They both started losing interest in breastfeeding themselves as soon as they started solids. I really wanted to stop expressing and had a dream that I could just breastfeed if and when I or they wanted to...but they don't really want to anymore.  I still have milk, a week after I have stopped and I am not sure how long it is going to take to dry up. I cannot explain how emotional this has made me feel and I know it is due to the prolactin levels dropping off...I am trying to stop naturally so I don't want to take any meds to dry up my milk. I am sure things will feel better in time...I think this is in part why I also have a lingering desire to have another baby - to be able to do this all again.  But this too shall fade I am sure, in time...


I love my sister....



Not prepared....

After stopping to breasfeed / express my milk on Good Friday....I am taking strain! No-one warned me that I would feel so sad about stopping breastfeeding...I have just read that it is due to my prolactin levels decreasing and is quite normal. But geez, I am really really sad and tearful and have this growing urge to run to my pump and start expressing right now! I am doubting myself and feeling guilty about no longer being able to feed my babies. Every time I think about the fact that every minute I don't express means my milk is drying up, I just want to cry. I tried to latch the babies on and they did suckle a bit but lost interest quickly. Gosh this is so much harder than I thought it would be when I made the decision to stop.

The wonder of breastfeeding...

There are many things about becoming a mother that has suprised me. But one of the most significant suprises has been what breastfeeding my babies has meant to me. I haven't been able to exclusively breastfeed as I was too preoccupied with knowing how much milk they were getting, so I developed an extremely close relationship with my Medela pump and fed them expressed breastmilk in bottles, topping up with formula as needed when my supply fell short.


Breastfeeding has intrigued me completely. Here is my body, producing a substance that nourishes them with all the nutrients and sustenance needed in exactly the correct amounts. My body...finally doing something perfectly right after years and years of struggling with infertility. And the feeling of your babies sucking and drinking milk from you is quite an overwhelming experience - well it is for me. Simply put, I love it. My heart wants to burst with pride and amazement as I look down at my babies drinking from me.

It is with great reluctance that I have started to wean myself off expressing my breastmilk.  I am still expressing once a day and hoping that my milk supply will sustain to be able to occasionally still latch the babies on if they need to be comforted in the middle of the night. But they need to less and less as they are sleeping through and drink better from their bottles which they are even losing interest in now that they are on three good solid meals a day.

I am not sure why it is so hard for me to just let go...probably because I know I will never again be able to do this...so sad.

Winning pic!

Some time ago I sent off one of our pics to the Your Pregnancy magazine and was so suprised to have found out this week that we won for best pic!  We won a R500 gift card to a babystore which is amazing.

This is the pic that won...


And just to show how much these little babes have grown...here are some new pics...

6 months old!

Our gorgeous twins...6 months with us already!

Age: Actual age = The twins have been on earth for 6 months already! As they were actually about minus 2 months when they were born - corrected age they are still only about 4 1/2 months old...but still, they have been with us for a full 6 months. I think they are catching up nicely though as both of their weights are over the average line for the real age already...but developmentally they are still in line with about a 4 month old baby.  The Paed says by a year they should've caught up on all fronts.

Height/Weight: Finn now weighs 7.3kg and Rebecca 6.8kg! Finn is 70cm tall and Rebecca is 67cm tall.

Developmental notes: They are lifting themselves up really high on their tummies and looking right around with great head control.  I can walk with them on my hip and they keep steady. They sit in their Bumbo seats really well. They are so much more alert and track your every movement with their eyes. They have started "chatting" with a whole range of new sounds. Rebecca has started to roll herself over onto her back - not that great as this wakes her up. Neither rely on a dummy at all and Finn has started sucking his thumb now and then. His hand eye coordination is better than his sisters but she can stand on her feet better.

Eating: We have started on this great new adventure called EATING! Yes, we started solids last week and are already up to three meals a day. Turns out we did start with rice cereal but have to introduce new foods quickly to get them onto meat asap as after 6 months babies' iron reserves are low.  We are giving them cereal at 07h30, cereal and veg/protein at 12h00 and then cereal and fruit at 5pm.  Rebecca eats really well and swallows nicely, but Finn still has to figure out how to use his tongue properly...as fast as you shovel it in, he pushes it out lol. I hope some gets swallowed and that he gets better at it soon...I am sure it won't take him long to figure it out. We start meat next week! They have started cutting down on some of their milk feeds. I am still expressing breast milk twice a day - enough for two milk feeds and have decided to continue doing so for a while longer - it is much easier only doing this twice a day and I am expressing about the same as I was when doing it three times a day...I will stop when I am really fed up. I plan to stop taking eglanol and then seeing how this affects milk production and then dropping to once a day and then stopping...will see how it goes.

Sleep: Here is the thing...I thought solids makes babies sleep better...well not in our case.  Maybe it is just because they are getting used to it or maybe their little tummies are stretching now so the hungry hole is just that much bigger at 3am...but they have been waking up 3am or 4am hungry.  Last night Rebecca slept through perfectly though only waking at 6h45 which was amazing, but Finn moaned from 3am finally getting really loud at 4h30 so I had to feed him. We will let things settle and see how it goes as they get established on 3 meals a day...may have to start giving them only water if they wake up. Doubt we will be able to give up the 22h30pm bottle anytime soon...,may cut back to giving this at 10pm and see how it goes...might give a few teaspoons of cereal with that feed just to give them an extra push to get through until the next morning.

Favourite Things: Butternut! Yes, it seems as if they both really love it...Being in our arms. Snuggling. Sucking and chewing fingers. Tummy zerbets.

Dislikes: Finn always makes a funny face when he tastes rice cereal so I don't think this is his best.They don't like being ignored for too long but we are encouraging them to be able to lie and amuse themselves in their cots after waking up so that in future when they wake they will be happy to chill out a bit.

Looking forward to: All that is to come...snuggles....being called mamma....hugs....slobbery kisses....

Mommy musings: I am loving being a mommy. I can't believe how fast it seems to be going.  I admit that in the first 3 months it didn't feel like it was ever going to get better on some days...but how we are loving it as the babies get more and more interactive and easier to handle. There is magic in the newborn phase, but it is tough as you don't get much feedback apart from endless crying and the babies are so floppy and unresponsive. What a delight they are becoming now...and with every day they get stronger and more chatty...so wonderful to watch!

Me and my babies...

Oh my gosh, I get to say that...and I will over and over again lol! One of many such pics to come yah!

And today...

And today would have been the second day of being officially pregnant...one year ago...We did our blood test on the 10 March 2011 and the first beta was high enough for us to start wondering about whether it was twins. I still look at our babies...6 months later...and can't believe they are really here, that I was ever even pregnant...

I hear them, I see them, I know they are here, but it is still unreal. IF has penetrated the definition of me for so long, that I still have to pinch myself now and again to remind myself that I am really a mommy. I have been thinking about the issue of blogging now as a parent after IF, and I hope it is okay to just step out of that old club without feeling guilty. How healing it is, to be writing about their progress and growth, about our new journey as a family...

My heart always still sends love and light to all the women still on the journey and I want to shout from the rooftops to all of you never ever to give up until your family becomes your reality as every bit of pain is worth it.

Why we need to have to work through all that disapointment and pain is another issue completely but for whatever reason...please know that for me it was still worth every tear, every rip of my heart, every feeling of worthlessness, to now be able to hold my babies tight in my arms.

I want to leave fear behind me now. I want to celebrate this new role I am living. 

The day I found out I was pregnant....exactly one year ago today...