Gratitude for Hope

Okay, I have banked a few gratitudes for this one too.

The days are flying past so fast...I am still waiting for cycle day 1 so IVF # 4 can begin...maybe tomorrow.... Picked up my stim meds this afternoon but the sister told me I still need to come in for a day 2 scan...sigh.... Anyway am on low dose stims this cycle with Fertomid tabs and one 450 gonal f pen until day 7 when I would have my first follie scan.

I say gratitude for hope because without hope, I would've packed it in by now. It is only hope that keeps one on the journey in this crazy game. And when your balloon of hope is popped with the very sharp point of disappointment, you relunctantly fill another one and carry it with you every day during your 14-28 days of cycling.

So I have gratitude for hope. And yet, I am telling myself not to be too hopeful. So this time, my balloon is a little pap...so if the sharp point of disappointment stabs at my little hopeful balloon, it will make a soft poof noise rather than a big loud bang.

I surrender. I meet you halfway. I hand over control. I know there is divine timing. I trust there is a plan. I will know when to stop. I know it feels right to try now. I can see my baby. If I couldn't, I would know I have to give up....

I am filling my blue balloon. With hope.