Finn & Rebecca

Finn & Rebecca

Friday, May 27, 2011

Anxiety and my OB but all is good!

So off I went to the OB appointment this morning...the one that was supposed to be on the 8th June until I crumbled yesterday and made it earlier!

All I wanted was to see them so I forgot to tell the OB that I had been extra crampy the last couple of days (I think this is because the placenta is in a serious growth phase and embeds deeper into the uterine wall at this stage, but could also just be normal uterine growing pains). I chatted to her about my anxiety but this was met with quite a practical and non-emotional response. When I asked if we could have 2 weekly appointments she didn't seem to think this was necessary and said she believes it is a waste of money before 26 weeks as they can only help the babies at this stage if a problem growing etc and that if there is a problem, there is absolutely nothing anyone can do before this. I felt like she was saying it would also be a bit of a waste of her time too as she said her practice is very busy. She did say afterwards, in her matter-of-fact manner that it is fine and I must just make the appointments as I need to and it is normal, and seeing is believing so she wasn't un-caring, just very matter-of-fact and to the point.

I admit, in my wobbly state, I felt a little like bursting into tears and saying "well if you can't give me what I want I will find someone who can" however on the other side, perhaps my emotional wobbliness needs some real grounded realism and practicality - German efficiency. Maybe I need that to counter my anxiety rather than have an OB who is overly anxious and cautious? What is more important?  An OB you can trust in ability and professionalism or an OB that is compassionate and caring? I am not sure if I should try another OB at the same hospital - problem is they all work together anyway.

I have put on 5kg since last seeing her and she said it is a bit too much - another area where I am confused as everything I have read about successfully carrying twins to term says it is really important to put on weight early to nourish their development as later it is difficult to eat as much.  Also, with a twin pregnancy one should put on up to 20kg. Such a pity there isn't a pure twin OB specialist as I would seriously consider moving to one. Also, I am not doing hardcore gym and my body is extremely reactive to exercise and the lack of it....I pick up weight fast if I am not doing loads of cardio, and YES I am eating more!!!

Anyway, she scanned and I saw instantly they were both okay - both heartbeats going strong.  Our little boy was kicking and jiggling up a storm and pushing his hands upwards against his sac and our little girl was snoozing. She commented on how sweet Little Madam was not waking up seeing her brother was kicking so much.  There was another cute moment when you could see them lying together head to head.  They have moved sideways now and are lying next to each other. The placenta looks good and is covering the cervix at this point - may move up as the uterus grows. I was just relieved and happy to know they are okay. She said all looks great and they just need to do what they need to do right now which is to grow..

Here are our cuties today, measuring 15 weeks 4 days, and both about 9.7cm...

Chatted to the sweet receptionist afterwards and she said that it is completely normal to have anxiety and that I must just make as many appointments as I need - I am not the first to feel paranoid! So I compromised and made the next two appointments for 3 weeks apart with the 20 week Fetal Assessment scan in-between. Then I made 4 appointments 2 weeks apart from 20 July to end August when I will be 29 weeks.  Works for me!!!

1 comment:

  1. I was there today too for my b00b checkup. I was walking behind her in the passage (she didn't see me) and a bird was trapped in there, so she walked to each and every single window to open it for the bird to get out. I was quite touched by that, but totally get what you mean by the German pragmatism. I told her I'm scared of the IVF drugs and got a bit of "if you believe it's going to make you react a certain way, it probably will", as in, don't let your mind run away with you. Sigh. So yes, as always with doctors, I'm left wondering if I'm a hypochondriac or if I should listen to my gut instinct... There is no right or wrong, like Oprah says, get really quiet and the answer will come to you. Having the right OB for you is crucially important!