Just went for our fourth (and hopefully last) fetal assessment scan to check on our little girl's growth in more detail. Her head circumference and femur both measure completely normal for 28 weeks, but her belly is still slim measuring at 27 weeks. She weighs about 1111g. The sonographer checked her brain blood flow and vein flow in the liver which, if flowing too much could indicate a problem with blood flow to her body, however both these were completely normal. Even though her belly width is smaller, it still falls into the acceptable percentile for her age, so nothing to worry about. She is on track with all measurements, just on the slim side.
Our little boy on the other hand is ginormous! His head and femur is measuring at 30 weeks already and his belly is just below the maximum percentile also for 30 weeks. So he is getting enough to eat for sure! He weighs 1576g or so. The sonographer said if he wasn't sharing the space with a small sister, she would suspect that I had gestational diabetes, but this is not the case as she is not measuring big as well. So he is going to be a big boy! She also pointed out that he has quite a head of hair already - you could actually see the hair on the scan. She explained that sometimes with twins, one placenta can be more efficient than the other one drawing more nutrition, so this is possible.
They were lying in very strange positions. She has her head against my cervix with her bum upwards to my RHS, draped over him now as he is lying towards the back with his head in the middle. It is so hard to picture their exact positions as she explains it, but they were moving about constantly, so I am sure this changes often. Their fluid levels were both fine - I think she said about 4 and anything from a 2 to a 8 is perfect.
My cervix is looking great - up to 32-34mm and closed, so all perfect! Next Obgyn appointment with Dr H is in two weeks time when I will be 31 weeks - can't wait to see how they have grown by then. Depending on how I feel, I will chat to her about my oedema and booking me off maybe a week earlier.
Am so happy the babes are doing okay! Yah!
Finn & Rebecca
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Booties and belly
DH is Dutch and we found this adorable kids shop with loads of fab stuff imported from Holland...had to get the babes something Dutch and we couldn't resist these little booties and toy mice for the twins...so so cute! They also have a really gorgeous baby bag on display only to see if they will be importing the range, and my DH is trying to convince them to sell it to us...
And here is my latest belly pic - 28 weeks and 3 days...
We are going for another fetal assessment scan tomorrow to check our little girl's growth. Then it is my work baby shower on Spring Day 1st September and my belly shoot on Saturday! What an exciting week...
And here is my latest belly pic - 28 weeks and 3 days...
We are going for another fetal assessment scan tomorrow to check our little girl's growth. Then it is my work baby shower on Spring Day 1st September and my belly shoot on Saturday! What an exciting week...
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Twins at 28 weeks...
Heres some info about how twins are developing at 28 weeks...so amazing...
At 28 weeks your twins will each have grown to about 38cm from top to toe and will weigh a little more than 1kg each. Their eyes open and close, they sleep and wake at regular intervals and they may suck a finger or thumb.
Your twins' brain growth is very rapid this month. The characteristic grooves on the brain's surface start to appear and more brain tissue develops. Nearly all fetuses react to sound by the end of the seventh month.
At about this time, your twins can open their eyes and turn their heads in utero if they notice a continuous, bright light shining from the outside. Their fat layers are forming. In boys, testicles descend from near the kidneys through the groin en route to the scrotum. In girls, the clitoris is relatively prominent because it's not yet covered by the still-small labia. These will grow to cover it in the last few weeks before birth.
Their skeletons are hardening even more. While your twins may soon slow down growing in length, they will continue to gain weight until they are born.
A pint and a half/around a litre of amniotic fluid now surrounds each of your twins, but that volume decreases as they get bigger and have less room in your uterus.
Your twins' brain growth is very rapid this month. The characteristic grooves on the brain's surface start to appear and more brain tissue develops. Nearly all fetuses react to sound by the end of the seventh month.
At about this time, your twins can open their eyes and turn their heads in utero if they notice a continuous, bright light shining from the outside. Their fat layers are forming. In boys, testicles descend from near the kidneys through the groin en route to the scrotum. In girls, the clitoris is relatively prominent because it's not yet covered by the still-small labia. These will grow to cover it in the last few weeks before birth.
Their skeletons are hardening even more. While your twins may soon slow down growing in length, they will continue to gain weight until they are born.
A pint and a half/around a litre of amniotic fluid now surrounds each of your twins, but that volume decreases as they get bigger and have less room in your uterus.
28 Weeks!
How far along? 28 weeks!
Symptoms? Serious bouts of rib pain - not sure if it is babies pushing up into my ribs or if just caused by general expansion of my uterus which is also sore and sensitive on and off. Measured my belly from bottom to top and it is 34cm (equal to 34 weeks pregnant). I am amazed how some people comment that I am so small - maybe I look like I am carrying small as I am so tall and seem to have so much space? Have a bit of hip pain now and then. My feet and legs are very swollen...every day now. I have leets (legs and feet in one) - forget about cankles! I sit with my legs raised every evening, and helps a bit but they stay swollen. Am keeping an eye on my BP. Heartburn aaaaaaaargh all the time on and off.
Stretch marks? None yet...using tissue oil morning and night.
Weight gain? 18kg!!!! Scary as I still have 8 weeks to go...
Sleep? Sleeping well even with night loo trips and crazy dreams. Getting more uncomfy but okay.
Movement? Some days lots, other days less...but I feel movement every day on and off. More rolling and moving than kicks and jabs.
Best moment this week? Getting to 28 weeks - one week at a time and every week I feel stronger. Seeing hiccups flicking on my belly for the first and only time so far! SO cute. Seeing colostrum oozing out of my nipples. Recording the babes heartbeats so I can use on the dvd I will edit with all their scans and birth and baby pics and video.
Food cravings? I am sure I would have more food cravings if I didn't have to deal with constant acid in my throat.
What I am looking forward to? 30 Weeks and then I will truly relax and welcome the mounting excitement and joy at meeting our babies soon...but babes - please stay in until at least 35 weeks...kay? I have my belly shoot next Saturday - what to wear hum? Will have to hide my giant feet lol!
Milestones? 28 weeks is a HUGE milestone as I wanted everything to be ready by now. It isn't quite but I have my work baby shower next Thursday, so will only do final shop after that...so new date to be totally organised is 30 weeks!
Emotions? Getting stronger every day. Am a bit worried about our girl's growth and praying she will be on track at the FAS next Tuesday...but believing all will be well.
General... Busy busy at work preparing all so I can go on maternity leave end September...or maybe even a week earlier - will see how things go. Got lots of projects at home to do before babes arrive but somehow I don't feel like it - all I want to do on the weekends is loll about and read! Maybe the nesting instinct will kick in big time giving me extra energy to clear through some stuff. Otherwise all is great!
Symptoms? Serious bouts of rib pain - not sure if it is babies pushing up into my ribs or if just caused by general expansion of my uterus which is also sore and sensitive on and off. Measured my belly from bottom to top and it is 34cm (equal to 34 weeks pregnant). I am amazed how some people comment that I am so small - maybe I look like I am carrying small as I am so tall and seem to have so much space? Have a bit of hip pain now and then. My feet and legs are very swollen...every day now. I have leets (legs and feet in one) - forget about cankles! I sit with my legs raised every evening, and helps a bit but they stay swollen. Am keeping an eye on my BP. Heartburn aaaaaaaargh all the time on and off.
Stretch marks? None yet...using tissue oil morning and night.
Weight gain? 18kg!!!! Scary as I still have 8 weeks to go...
Sleep? Sleeping well even with night loo trips and crazy dreams. Getting more uncomfy but okay.
Movement? Some days lots, other days less...but I feel movement every day on and off. More rolling and moving than kicks and jabs.
Best moment this week? Getting to 28 weeks - one week at a time and every week I feel stronger. Seeing hiccups flicking on my belly for the first and only time so far! SO cute. Seeing colostrum oozing out of my nipples. Recording the babes heartbeats so I can use on the dvd I will edit with all their scans and birth and baby pics and video.
Food cravings? I am sure I would have more food cravings if I didn't have to deal with constant acid in my throat.
What I am looking forward to? 30 Weeks and then I will truly relax and welcome the mounting excitement and joy at meeting our babies soon...but babes - please stay in until at least 35 weeks...kay? I have my belly shoot next Saturday - what to wear hum? Will have to hide my giant feet lol!
Milestones? 28 weeks is a HUGE milestone as I wanted everything to be ready by now. It isn't quite but I have my work baby shower next Thursday, so will only do final shop after that...so new date to be totally organised is 30 weeks!
Emotions? Getting stronger every day. Am a bit worried about our girl's growth and praying she will be on track at the FAS next Tuesday...but believing all will be well.
General... Busy busy at work preparing all so I can go on maternity leave end September...or maybe even a week earlier - will see how things go. Got lots of projects at home to do before babes arrive but somehow I don't feel like it - all I want to do on the weekends is loll about and read! Maybe the nesting instinct will kick in big time giving me extra energy to clear through some stuff. Otherwise all is great!
Monday, August 22, 2011
3rd Trimester fun!
I had a wonderful baby shower weekend with most of the special women in our family and I felt truly blessed to have them all share this incredible journey with me and to see me pregnant! The twins have received some very special presents and so much attention already and they are not even here yet! I can't wait to introduce them to everyone. 9 Weeks to go....what an incredible thought...In 2 months or less, I will be a mum.
So, it seems as if 3rd trimester symptoms hit me with a bang this weekend! It all started on Saturday...I woke up with HUGE swollen feet and cankles. my legs, hands, face and arms are also retaining some water. Am finding it difficult to fit into any of my shoes - even CROCS (yes...) are tight! I already have big feet at 8 and 1/2 so finding a size up will be tricky. May have to buy men's takkies in a size 9!!!! Eeeek.
I have been feeling much larger in the last few days as well and the babes are moving around quite a bit. It appears as if our boy has lodged himself under my ribs with his bum or head pushing against my bones much to my discomfort. This morning, when I woke up, a body part (I am sure his bum) was pushing right out to the one side - hilarious! Our girl has taken to dancing along the bottom of my womb, tapping my bladder which makes me want to dash to the loo only to find I don't need it lol! I think space is becoming tighter...the next 9 weeks are going to be real interesting...
And then, I felt hiccups for the first time on Saturday while lying in the sun!! It was amazing! My belly starting flicking to the hic hic hics - lasted a few minutes. So adorable.
And then the craziest thing if all...I was doing my boob check in the shower and massaging, checking for lumps etc, and colustrum came out of my nipples!!!! How freaky. My body is preparing for milk production! It is really doing what it is supposed to do? I was so excited that I shrieked!
So, I can say the 3rd trimester appears to have started right on cue...and I am loving every minute of it, even if it is going to be the most uncomfortable experience of my life physically for the next 9 weeks...all for my babes xxx
So, it seems as if 3rd trimester symptoms hit me with a bang this weekend! It all started on Saturday...I woke up with HUGE swollen feet and cankles. my legs, hands, face and arms are also retaining some water. Am finding it difficult to fit into any of my shoes - even CROCS (yes...) are tight! I already have big feet at 8 and 1/2 so finding a size up will be tricky. May have to buy men's takkies in a size 9!!!! Eeeek.
I have been feeling much larger in the last few days as well and the babes are moving around quite a bit. It appears as if our boy has lodged himself under my ribs with his bum or head pushing against my bones much to my discomfort. This morning, when I woke up, a body part (I am sure his bum) was pushing right out to the one side - hilarious! Our girl has taken to dancing along the bottom of my womb, tapping my bladder which makes me want to dash to the loo only to find I don't need it lol! I think space is becoming tighter...the next 9 weeks are going to be real interesting...
And then, I felt hiccups for the first time on Saturday while lying in the sun!! It was amazing! My belly starting flicking to the hic hic hics - lasted a few minutes. So adorable.
And then the craziest thing if all...I was doing my boob check in the shower and massaging, checking for lumps etc, and colustrum came out of my nipples!!!! How freaky. My body is preparing for milk production! It is really doing what it is supposed to do? I was so excited that I shrieked!
So, I can say the 3rd trimester appears to have started right on cue...and I am loving every minute of it, even if it is going to be the most uncomfortable experience of my life physically for the next 9 weeks...all for my babes xxx
Friday, August 19, 2011
Obgyn update...
Just got back from my 27 week Obgyn appointment.... According to her scan measurements, my Dr is a little concerned about our girl's belly measurement. Her head and femur is measuring as it should, but her belly looks a little small and is measuring behind at about 25-26 weeks. Her doppler results are fine and shows good flow and is within the expected percentile chart and her fluid looks good. Hopefully she is just a little slim sausage but my Dr wants to monitor her growth with more accurate measurements...so off to the Fetal Assessment Clinic we go in two weeks time instead!
Our boy is doing just fine measuring well over 1kg as he was at the 4D scan. Dr H says she could also be squashed as she is lying stretched out with her brother pinning her down and this could impact on the belly measurement. But we will see how everything looks in two weeks time. I am trying not to worry about this now!!!
I mentioned my continued heartburn and she said I must treat it as ignoring it can cause permanent damage to my oesophagus eeeek! She said Gaviscon doesn't work and to use Rennies or Milk of Magnesia before and after eating instead. She also sent me for a blood test to check for anaemia and gestational diabetes. My next appointment is at 31 weeks (wow). We chatted about the caeser date and she said she would prefer leaving them in until 37 weeks if all looks good. I told her that I would trust her judgement completely in this case and it is her call - whatever is best for the babes. Of course, if there are any complications and we need to have an earlier caeser or if they come on their own earlier then so be it...they get to decide. I asked about maternity leave and she said I should plan for 32 - 33 weeks depending on how I am feeling...but it will be up to me.
She discussed the steroid issue saying that she really didn't feel it necessary to administer steroids now as I don't appear to have increased risk of preterm labour at this point. She didn't check my cervix internally but from the belly scan it looks as if it is still 3cm so it hasn't shortened, which is just great.
Last night I went on a shopping spree at Woolies buying a fab camping cot, sheets, baby products and a whole lot of basics! And I booked my belly and newborn shoot package with an amazing photographer for 3 September when I will be just over 29 weeks - yah!
Am looking forward to spending the weekend with all the girls...6 women in the house and DH...lol!
Our boy is doing just fine measuring well over 1kg as he was at the 4D scan. Dr H says she could also be squashed as she is lying stretched out with her brother pinning her down and this could impact on the belly measurement. But we will see how everything looks in two weeks time. I am trying not to worry about this now!!!
I mentioned my continued heartburn and she said I must treat it as ignoring it can cause permanent damage to my oesophagus eeeek! She said Gaviscon doesn't work and to use Rennies or Milk of Magnesia before and after eating instead. She also sent me for a blood test to check for anaemia and gestational diabetes. My next appointment is at 31 weeks (wow). We chatted about the caeser date and she said she would prefer leaving them in until 37 weeks if all looks good. I told her that I would trust her judgement completely in this case and it is her call - whatever is best for the babes. Of course, if there are any complications and we need to have an earlier caeser or if they come on their own earlier then so be it...they get to decide. I asked about maternity leave and she said I should plan for 32 - 33 weeks depending on how I am feeling...but it will be up to me.
She discussed the steroid issue saying that she really didn't feel it necessary to administer steroids now as I don't appear to have increased risk of preterm labour at this point. She didn't check my cervix internally but from the belly scan it looks as if it is still 3cm so it hasn't shortened, which is just great.
Last night I went on a shopping spree at Woolies buying a fab camping cot, sheets, baby products and a whole lot of basics! And I booked my belly and newborn shoot package with an amazing photographer for 3 September when I will be just over 29 weeks - yah!
Am looking forward to spending the weekend with all the girls...6 women in the house and DH...lol!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
27 Weeks
How far along? 27 weeks!
Symptoms? Oh nooooo - I have started retaining water...been a few days now of slightly puffy ankles and hands. Had to take my wedding rings off - so wearing some replacement ones that are bigger. I also find myself waking up with a slight headache, and tight feeling in my ankles and hands. My blood pressure however is perfect - we have a machine so tested this morning - so this is good. Rib pain now and then as they expand. Few tweaks of pain when I move in certain ways sometimes - must be ligaments still stretching. It is getting harder to bend over to put on boots, socks or to shave...going to have to start improvising! Little bit of cramping in legs but not too bad. Pinched nerve more or less gone now which is great!
Stretch marks? None yet...using tissue oil morning and night.
Weight gain? Haven't weighed myself again yet...
Sleep? Still surrounded by pillows. Can be painful sometimes moving from side to side. Babes kick and nudge when I roll over. Have been finding it more difficult to get back to sleep after getting up to wee. I can see that my nights are going to be getting way more uncomfy as we get through the next 9 weeks!!!
Movement? Much more movement this past week. More regular nudges and kicks and rolls. Love doing belly watch when I lie still, but the babes don't always cooperate and snooze instead lol!
Best moment this week? Without a doubt - seeing the babes on the 4D scan! Amazing to see how perfect little babas they are. Now they just need to put on fat, mature their little lungs and keep developing those little brain synapses! I cannot wait to see their little faces in real life...but only when they are ready!!!
Food cravings? No specific cravings except for smoothies from Kauai! I am building up a nice supply of sticker cards yeah! And the babes get a fruit boost!
What I am looking forward to? Going on maternity leave!!!! 5 More weeks of work if all goes well...but am planning on having all work done hopefully by end of this month in case - this is scary as I have loads to do. I may need to go off a week or two earlier...Will also discuss this with my Dr at tomorrow's appointment.
Milestones? Reaching 27 weeks! Having our 4D Scan!
Emotions? Since the Full Moon last Saturday, I have felt a renewed sense of peace about my pregnancy with a growing belief that all will be well. Every day, I get a stronger sense of our babies as a reality...they will be here soon for real. Only 9 weeks to wait at the most after so many years of lost hope. It has taken me longer to reach acceptance that this miracle is happening...but I am getting there now.
General... Shopping update: Have done lists of all the stuff we still need to get and am planning a big shop for next weekend for all the rest of the hardware and the following weekend after my work baby shower to fill in all the gaps! Then I am packing my hospital bag and the babies bag and will start to do all the washing and organising of all their newborn things. So by 30 weeks all will be done!! I have only bought one bag of new baby nappies lol - so better stock up on those too! I have decided to use disposables for the first month or so and then will buy the eco-bum cloth nappy system. Am going to order 2 Snuza monitors today online as they offer a special price for twins. Yesterday to celebrate the 4D scan, I bought two Baby Bjorn slings - a bright pink one for her and a bright red one for him - hope they going to love going walkies with mum and dad in their uber cool slings!
Symptoms? Oh nooooo - I have started retaining water...been a few days now of slightly puffy ankles and hands. Had to take my wedding rings off - so wearing some replacement ones that are bigger. I also find myself waking up with a slight headache, and tight feeling in my ankles and hands. My blood pressure however is perfect - we have a machine so tested this morning - so this is good. Rib pain now and then as they expand. Few tweaks of pain when I move in certain ways sometimes - must be ligaments still stretching. It is getting harder to bend over to put on boots, socks or to shave...going to have to start improvising! Little bit of cramping in legs but not too bad. Pinched nerve more or less gone now which is great!
Stretch marks? None yet...using tissue oil morning and night.
Weight gain? Haven't weighed myself again yet...
Sleep? Still surrounded by pillows. Can be painful sometimes moving from side to side. Babes kick and nudge when I roll over. Have been finding it more difficult to get back to sleep after getting up to wee. I can see that my nights are going to be getting way more uncomfy as we get through the next 9 weeks!!!
Movement? Much more movement this past week. More regular nudges and kicks and rolls. Love doing belly watch when I lie still, but the babes don't always cooperate and snooze instead lol!
Best moment this week? Without a doubt - seeing the babes on the 4D scan! Amazing to see how perfect little babas they are. Now they just need to put on fat, mature their little lungs and keep developing those little brain synapses! I cannot wait to see their little faces in real life...but only when they are ready!!!
Food cravings? No specific cravings except for smoothies from Kauai! I am building up a nice supply of sticker cards yeah! And the babes get a fruit boost!
What I am looking forward to? Going on maternity leave!!!! 5 More weeks of work if all goes well...but am planning on having all work done hopefully by end of this month in case - this is scary as I have loads to do. I may need to go off a week or two earlier...Will also discuss this with my Dr at tomorrow's appointment.
Milestones? Reaching 27 weeks! Having our 4D Scan!
Emotions? Since the Full Moon last Saturday, I have felt a renewed sense of peace about my pregnancy with a growing belief that all will be well. Every day, I get a stronger sense of our babies as a reality...they will be here soon for real. Only 9 weeks to wait at the most after so many years of lost hope. It has taken me longer to reach acceptance that this miracle is happening...but I am getting there now.
General... Shopping update: Have done lists of all the stuff we still need to get and am planning a big shop for next weekend for all the rest of the hardware and the following weekend after my work baby shower to fill in all the gaps! Then I am packing my hospital bag and the babies bag and will start to do all the washing and organising of all their newborn things. So by 30 weeks all will be done!! I have only bought one bag of new baby nappies lol - so better stock up on those too! I have decided to use disposables for the first month or so and then will buy the eco-bum cloth nappy system. Am going to order 2 Snuza monitors today online as they offer a special price for twins. Yesterday to celebrate the 4D scan, I bought two Baby Bjorn slings - a bright pink one for her and a bright red one for him - hope they going to love going walkies with mum and dad in their uber cool slings!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
4D Scan!
Just got back from our 4D scan...was so amazing seeing our little babes close-up. Our little girl babe was hiding away and so camera shy - she is back squashed down at the bottom facing my back showing off her spine...so we didn't get to see her little face. Here is the only shot we got which is a side view of her face. She is measuring at about 950g or so...
Our little boy however was on full show...stretched right across in a tranverse position with his bum in her face, his legs to the side! At one point he had his arm behind his head as if he was stretching out on the beach lol! This explains the fiesty kicking on my RHS and jabbing on my LHS - it has been him all along I think. How cute is this little dude...he is growing so well and is about 1100g already!
What a cute little face!
At one point when the scan was live he grimaced at something...wonder what he tasted lol!
What a chubby arm and muscles!
And chubby little cheeks...and super cute chin!
Legs up and chin on his chest...time for a snooze?
And I get to see them again on Friday! So awesome!
Our little boy however was on full show...stretched right across in a tranverse position with his bum in her face, his legs to the side! At one point he had his arm behind his head as if he was stretching out on the beach lol! This explains the fiesty kicking on my RHS and jabbing on my LHS - it has been him all along I think. How cute is this little dude...he is growing so well and is about 1100g already!
And I get to see them again on Friday! So awesome!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
16 Years!
My DH and I started officially dating 16 years ago today! He proposed to me 9 months later on Mother's Day and we then got married in April the following year. He is without a doubt the true love of my life and I cannot imagine my life without him.
The last 16 years have been so incredibly special and I feel completely blessed to have experienced such a rich, complete relationship with such a wonderful man. I truly never believed I would find such a love with someone who makes me a better person, supporting my personal freedom and expressive space...
I will treasure the next 16 years together, now no longer alone but with our two special little babes...
The last 16 years have been so incredibly special and I feel completely blessed to have experienced such a rich, complete relationship with such a wonderful man. I truly never believed I would find such a love with someone who makes me a better person, supporting my personal freedom and expressive space...
I will treasure the next 16 years together, now no longer alone but with our two special little babes...
Monday, August 15, 2011
Exciting week ahead...and memories
This is going to be an exciting week! My older sister arrives to stay for the week today, followed by my younger sister on Wednesday. We have our 4D scan on Wed morning which I am so excited for - have been asking the babes nicely to please face forward for the camera as we would love to see both their little faces!
Then we reach 27 weeks on Thursday and I have an Obgyn appointment on Friday so will see them again (so lucky)! That evening, 3 more special women arrive to stay for a weekend of women celebrating my pregnancy with an informal baby shower! They are all mothers in our family....it is just me who has been waiting to join this club for so very long. I have been through all their pregnancies...
Starting when I was 19 years old and my cousin fell pregnant with my god-daughter who is now living her adult life. Then, my older sister fell pregnant with my niece, now in high school. Then my younger sister, also fell pregnant with a little girl, who I was lucky enough to have been so close to from when she was about 8 months old until they moved to Pretoria a couple of years ago. At the same time, DH's nephew's wife also conceived a little girl and we have watched her grow alongside our niece. Then a couple of months after my ruptured ectopic in 2007, my young step-daughter fell pregnant with our grandchild. This was the hardest pregnancy by far that I had to face as I had just lost one and I couldn't understand the cruel twist of fate, but when he was born, he brought with him so much innocence, light and healing to me.
During the period of the last three children born into our family, I had some dark days. Having to endure family conversations about babies, children and what being a mother meant to each of them. Watching the babies grow. How alone I felt in my infertility - after all I wouldn't understand as I wasn't a mother. I felt so left out especially when me and my two sisters and my mum would be chatting and inevitably at times it would be about motherhood and children...and I was the only one who wasn't a mother.Even my DH was already a parent and would talk about memories of his daughter and her mother. I often had to fight back tears during these times and pretend that I was not being affected by the absolute disappointment and shame I felt at not being able to produce a child. I was alone in my failure. Trapped in my body that was unable to create a baby.
And now...finally....I get to join the mummy club.
A lot later than I thought I would..after all I was ready to start a family in 1998! I always thought I would have at least two or three children by now. And yet, I also understand that this was the timing for us....for whatever purpose, our time to become parents - me for the first time and DH for the second, is now.
And we get to welcome two new souls on earth and into our lives. I am still in awe that this is finally happening to me and I will never forget the very long journey of pain, fear, disappointment, sadness, hope, love, growth it has taken me on.
I am ready to become a mother.
Then we reach 27 weeks on Thursday and I have an Obgyn appointment on Friday so will see them again (so lucky)! That evening, 3 more special women arrive to stay for a weekend of women celebrating my pregnancy with an informal baby shower! They are all mothers in our family....it is just me who has been waiting to join this club for so very long. I have been through all their pregnancies...
Starting when I was 19 years old and my cousin fell pregnant with my god-daughter who is now living her adult life. Then, my older sister fell pregnant with my niece, now in high school. Then my younger sister, also fell pregnant with a little girl, who I was lucky enough to have been so close to from when she was about 8 months old until they moved to Pretoria a couple of years ago. At the same time, DH's nephew's wife also conceived a little girl and we have watched her grow alongside our niece. Then a couple of months after my ruptured ectopic in 2007, my young step-daughter fell pregnant with our grandchild. This was the hardest pregnancy by far that I had to face as I had just lost one and I couldn't understand the cruel twist of fate, but when he was born, he brought with him so much innocence, light and healing to me.
During the period of the last three children born into our family, I had some dark days. Having to endure family conversations about babies, children and what being a mother meant to each of them. Watching the babies grow. How alone I felt in my infertility - after all I wouldn't understand as I wasn't a mother. I felt so left out especially when me and my two sisters and my mum would be chatting and inevitably at times it would be about motherhood and children...and I was the only one who wasn't a mother.Even my DH was already a parent and would talk about memories of his daughter and her mother. I often had to fight back tears during these times and pretend that I was not being affected by the absolute disappointment and shame I felt at not being able to produce a child. I was alone in my failure. Trapped in my body that was unable to create a baby.
And now...finally....I get to join the mummy club.
A lot later than I thought I would..after all I was ready to start a family in 1998! I always thought I would have at least two or three children by now. And yet, I also understand that this was the timing for us....for whatever purpose, our time to become parents - me for the first time and DH for the second, is now.
And we get to welcome two new souls on earth and into our lives. I am still in awe that this is finally happening to me and I will never forget the very long journey of pain, fear, disappointment, sadness, hope, love, growth it has taken me on.
I am ready to become a mother.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
26 Weeks!
How far along? 26 weeks! Viable! Can't believe we are here! If they are born now - heaven please no - they have an 80% chance of survival but would have a very long road in NICU...and we don't want that! Stay put babes for at least another 8-10 weeks!
Symptoms? Ongoing heartburn - really unpleasant. Back pain now and then while sleeping. Rib pain when I roll over in bed. Pinched nerve not so bad anymore - just twinges now and then. Ankles get a bit swollen by the end of the day so I try to rest with my legs up every evening for a bit and do ankle rolls. Also noticed by bangles a little tight so my hands also get a little swollen by the evening. My hair seems to need less washing - not as oily as usual which is great. Otherwise feeling great!
Stretch marks? None yet...
Weight gain? Haven't weighed myself again yet...
Sleep? Getting more and more difficult to move once I am down. Wish I had sky ropes to hold onto! Using my stomach muscles to lift myself up for night loo trips, but I suppose I should be rolling onto my side and then pushing up with my arms!
Movement? Not many kicks or big moves - more squirmings and rolling and the odd little jab. Haven't felt any hiccups yet...would be cool. I try to wake them up when I am relaxing with my feet up in the evenings - DH looked at me last night prodding a little baby part on the one side of my belly trying to provoke a reaction and said "Cam - if these babies have difficulties sleeping - I am going to blame you!" lol!!!
Best moment this week? We have almost finished the nursery!!! It just all came together so fast and is looking so lovely. I still have to sew the ottoman cover and DH needs to put more shelves in the cupboards - but otherwise all done. Now we just need to buy all the stuff that goes into the cupboards! I wanted to be ready by 28 weeks and we will be!
Food cravings? Freshly squeezed orange juice.
What I am looking forward to? We have our 4D scan next Wednesday!!! My older sister will be spending the week with us next week, then my younger sister arrives on Wednesday, and then my step-daughter and niece and cousin hopefully all on Friday for my family girl baby shower weekend - will be so wonderful to see them all!
Milestones? Reaching this incredible milestone is so special for me...I know each one has been miraculous, but today feels like the start of the last stretch towards actually holding these babes in my arms...I cannot express how blessed I feel.
Emotions? Have been missing my mum and may make an appointment with the medium just to try connect with her again before the babes arrive. I also want her to "see" me pregnant. I had a call from one of her art ladies who was so emotional and happy for me as mum has shared my journey with them all during the past years - I got so teary and sad that mum is not here to see this happen. It will be a year on 26 August.
General... I am going to book my belly shoot for the end of the month possibly - or maybe even beginning September - really want some awesome photo's to keep this miracle preserved forever...
Symptoms? Ongoing heartburn - really unpleasant. Back pain now and then while sleeping. Rib pain when I roll over in bed. Pinched nerve not so bad anymore - just twinges now and then. Ankles get a bit swollen by the end of the day so I try to rest with my legs up every evening for a bit and do ankle rolls. Also noticed by bangles a little tight so my hands also get a little swollen by the evening. My hair seems to need less washing - not as oily as usual which is great. Otherwise feeling great!
Stretch marks? None yet...
Weight gain? Haven't weighed myself again yet...
Sleep? Getting more and more difficult to move once I am down. Wish I had sky ropes to hold onto! Using my stomach muscles to lift myself up for night loo trips, but I suppose I should be rolling onto my side and then pushing up with my arms!
Movement? Not many kicks or big moves - more squirmings and rolling and the odd little jab. Haven't felt any hiccups yet...would be cool. I try to wake them up when I am relaxing with my feet up in the evenings - DH looked at me last night prodding a little baby part on the one side of my belly trying to provoke a reaction and said "Cam - if these babies have difficulties sleeping - I am going to blame you!" lol!!!
Best moment this week? We have almost finished the nursery!!! It just all came together so fast and is looking so lovely. I still have to sew the ottoman cover and DH needs to put more shelves in the cupboards - but otherwise all done. Now we just need to buy all the stuff that goes into the cupboards! I wanted to be ready by 28 weeks and we will be!
Food cravings? Freshly squeezed orange juice.
What I am looking forward to? We have our 4D scan next Wednesday!!! My older sister will be spending the week with us next week, then my younger sister arrives on Wednesday, and then my step-daughter and niece and cousin hopefully all on Friday for my family girl baby shower weekend - will be so wonderful to see them all!
Milestones? Reaching this incredible milestone is so special for me...I know each one has been miraculous, but today feels like the start of the last stretch towards actually holding these babes in my arms...I cannot express how blessed I feel.
Emotions? Have been missing my mum and may make an appointment with the medium just to try connect with her again before the babes arrive. I also want her to "see" me pregnant. I had a call from one of her art ladies who was so emotional and happy for me as mum has shared my journey with them all during the past years - I got so teary and sad that mum is not here to see this happen. It will be a year on 26 August.
General... I am going to book my belly shoot for the end of the month possibly - or maybe even beginning September - really want some awesome photo's to keep this miracle preserved forever...
Monday, August 8, 2011
73 Days to go...
If the babes hang in until 36 weeks, then it is 73 days to go...wow. Just over 2 months! So incredible to believe that after 12 years of waiting for this moment...it is just 2 months away now. This pregnancy is going so fast compared to the months of heartache and disappointment following every failed IVF cycle and lost pregnancy.
Soon, we will be holding two miracles in our arms and all the waiting will seem trivial and purposeful as if it was always meant to be this way. How accepting I am now of the understanding that the time is only right now. I believe this is because I always knew it was to be, I simply couldn't understand why our journey had to be so long and so complicated. And how I will treasure that very moment, when all of the past falls away as we finally meet these little souls coming to us.
We have almost finished the nursery...
I cannot stop going into the room and sitting in the glow of the salt crystal lamp at night, rubbing my belly and telling these babies how much I am looking forward to meeting them.
It already feels like they have been here always...
Here are some more pics of the progress...taken in the morning sun.
Soon, we will be holding two miracles in our arms and all the waiting will seem trivial and purposeful as if it was always meant to be this way. How accepting I am now of the understanding that the time is only right now. I believe this is because I always knew it was to be, I simply couldn't understand why our journey had to be so long and so complicated. And how I will treasure that very moment, when all of the past falls away as we finally meet these little souls coming to us.
We have almost finished the nursery...
I cannot stop going into the room and sitting in the glow of the salt crystal lamp at night, rubbing my belly and telling these babies how much I am looking forward to meeting them.
It already feels like they have been here always...
Here are some more pics of the progress...taken in the morning sun.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
25 Weeks!
How far along? 25 weeks!
Symptoms? Heartburn most of the time. Backache. Pinched nerve - has been much better but still feel it now and then. Have been quite crampy which Obgyn says is normal...hasn't gotten worse, it just feel like my uterus is achy and irritated. Obgyn said I mustn't rub it too much as this aggravates it. BH contractions a few times a day. Fluid-like discharge most of the week and quite a lot. Tender at bottom of uterus especially when our girl kicks me there.
Stretch marks? None yet...
Weight gain? Haven't weighed myself since the 12kg gain mark. Waist measures 121cm.
Sleep? Still getting up for night wees, uncomfortable when turning from side to side. Have started feeling more uncomfortable especially at night and in bed. Am surrounded by pillows.
Movement? I haven't picked up any definite patterns yet and sometimes no movement for hours, then suddenly there will be some....
Best moment this week? Seeing that the babes are fine at yesterday's scan, they are growing well and have enough fluid. Knowing that we are getting closer and closer to viability even though I am praying that they stay put until 36 weeks - no PTL see babies!!!
Food cravings? Cookies and cream Haagen Daz ice-cream.
What I am looking forward to? Getting to 26 weeks...28 weeks...30 weeks! Picking up the wingback chair and shelf and finishing all the furniture in the nursery. Then will start buying the small stuff yeah!
Milestones? Getting to 25 weeks...in my 26th week! The babies are starting to put on fat now and soon their eyes can open. They also start responding to touch...
Emotions? Closer and closer...focusing on bringing our babies into the world healthy and happy. I feel myself getting stronger and more confident and then the fear starts eroding this when I realise what I now have to lose...I have to consciously keep my mind focused on believing.
General... My cervix is 31mm which is okay. Anything less than 25mm is a danger sign so I am happy as long as it stays at 30mm. Apparently the average is 30-40mm. There was a little funneling but Obgyn didn't seem worried - although she did say she wants to discuss steriod shots at our 27 week appointment...wonder why she said that? Maybe because of the funneling and she wants to help develop their lungs just in case? Now I am starting to worry again...
Symptoms? Heartburn most of the time. Backache. Pinched nerve - has been much better but still feel it now and then. Have been quite crampy which Obgyn says is normal...hasn't gotten worse, it just feel like my uterus is achy and irritated. Obgyn said I mustn't rub it too much as this aggravates it. BH contractions a few times a day. Fluid-like discharge most of the week and quite a lot. Tender at bottom of uterus especially when our girl kicks me there.
Stretch marks? None yet...
Weight gain? Haven't weighed myself since the 12kg gain mark. Waist measures 121cm.
Sleep? Still getting up for night wees, uncomfortable when turning from side to side. Have started feeling more uncomfortable especially at night and in bed. Am surrounded by pillows.
Movement? I haven't picked up any definite patterns yet and sometimes no movement for hours, then suddenly there will be some....
Best moment this week? Seeing that the babes are fine at yesterday's scan, they are growing well and have enough fluid. Knowing that we are getting closer and closer to viability even though I am praying that they stay put until 36 weeks - no PTL see babies!!!
Food cravings? Cookies and cream Haagen Daz ice-cream.
What I am looking forward to? Getting to 26 weeks...28 weeks...30 weeks! Picking up the wingback chair and shelf and finishing all the furniture in the nursery. Then will start buying the small stuff yeah!
Milestones? Getting to 25 weeks...in my 26th week! The babies are starting to put on fat now and soon their eyes can open. They also start responding to touch...
Emotions? Closer and closer...focusing on bringing our babies into the world healthy and happy. I feel myself getting stronger and more confident and then the fear starts eroding this when I realise what I now have to lose...I have to consciously keep my mind focused on believing.
General... My cervix is 31mm which is okay. Anything less than 25mm is a danger sign so I am happy as long as it stays at 30mm. Apparently the average is 30-40mm. There was a little funneling but Obgyn didn't seem worried - although she did say she wants to discuss steriod shots at our 27 week appointment...wonder why she said that? Maybe because of the funneling and she wants to help develop their lungs just in case? Now I am starting to worry again...
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Scan update & pram
Just got back from our 25 week scan and all is great!
My cervix is 31mm so still fine..there is a little funelling again but nothing to worry about. Both babes are growing like weeds - he is 840g and she is 770g! He is lying with his head under my ribs (explains the rib pain I have been feeling!), his bum in her face and his legs upwards slapping her on the head with his hands - not sure how he is managing all these acrobatics lol!...She has moved upwards with her legs kicking me in the hoo-ha - this also explains that interesting feeling down there lol! During the scan, she was quite chilled and didn't seem to be phased at all by her brother slapping her around - she even stuck her tongue out at him lol!
They both have enough fluid - great!
I asked my Obgyn about the ongoing crampy feelings and tenderness in my uterus and she said that it is normal as I am now equivalent to a 32-34 week singleton pregnancy so will be experiencing all those crampy uterus feelings now. She said that we need to look out for any vaginal signs such as mucous bloody show, spotting or severe discharge. Also, if contractions cause you to double over or increase in severity and timing, then I must get it checked out. We didn't get any good pics today though - getting more tricky. Got one pic of our girl but with her brother's bum against her face it is not a great shot hee hee!
She also did another vaginal swab to re-check for any infections. Urine test was all clear. I am now on 2 weekly appointments! As I was leaving she said to remind her to discuss steroid shots at our next appointment - so am not sure if she is keen on giving me steroids at 27 weeks just in case - I am sure she will check my cervix first? We'll see...
So I am happy...closer and closer...I will celebrate HUGE getting to the end of August and from September until hopefully 20 October when they are due, I will thoroughly indulge in finally really relaxing more and enjoying this incredible miracle...roll on September!
Onto the pram...
So DH came home and had to assemble the pram immediately as I was so excited. On first glance, he said "there is no way this is going to fit through a standard door"! We specifically checked the width and measured the doors and it was one of the reasons we ordered this one oh dear what went wrong eeeeeeek...anyway, I took pictures as we went along...
The unpacking...with some help from our Bengal cat, Halo...
The unfolding...
Mala and Halo playing with the box...
Almost done...
Ta da! The pram...
I love it! Especially that it has bamboo in the fabric and all parts are made from 50% recycled materials. It moves like a dream and the big wheels make taking it down stairs a breeze! Oh yes...and um...it doesn't fit through a standard door!!! Good thing we have double doors leading off our bedroom and the lounge. So while I won't be able to whizz them all through the house, I will be able to load them up and get them out of the house and all the way down our 100 or so steps - I am going to get SO fit!
My cervix is 31mm so still fine..there is a little funelling again but nothing to worry about. Both babes are growing like weeds - he is 840g and she is 770g! He is lying with his head under my ribs (explains the rib pain I have been feeling!), his bum in her face and his legs upwards slapping her on the head with his hands - not sure how he is managing all these acrobatics lol!...She has moved upwards with her legs kicking me in the hoo-ha - this also explains that interesting feeling down there lol! During the scan, she was quite chilled and didn't seem to be phased at all by her brother slapping her around - she even stuck her tongue out at him lol!
They both have enough fluid - great!
I asked my Obgyn about the ongoing crampy feelings and tenderness in my uterus and she said that it is normal as I am now equivalent to a 32-34 week singleton pregnancy so will be experiencing all those crampy uterus feelings now. She said that we need to look out for any vaginal signs such as mucous bloody show, spotting or severe discharge. Also, if contractions cause you to double over or increase in severity and timing, then I must get it checked out. We didn't get any good pics today though - getting more tricky. Got one pic of our girl but with her brother's bum against her face it is not a great shot hee hee!
She also did another vaginal swab to re-check for any infections. Urine test was all clear. I am now on 2 weekly appointments! As I was leaving she said to remind her to discuss steroid shots at our next appointment - so am not sure if she is keen on giving me steroids at 27 weeks just in case - I am sure she will check my cervix first? We'll see...
So I am happy...closer and closer...I will celebrate HUGE getting to the end of August and from September until hopefully 20 October when they are due, I will thoroughly indulge in finally really relaxing more and enjoying this incredible miracle...roll on September!
Onto the pram...
So DH came home and had to assemble the pram immediately as I was so excited. On first glance, he said "there is no way this is going to fit through a standard door"! We specifically checked the width and measured the doors and it was one of the reasons we ordered this one oh dear what went wrong eeeeeeek...anyway, I took pictures as we went along...
I love it! Especially that it has bamboo in the fabric and all parts are made from 50% recycled materials. It moves like a dream and the big wheels make taking it down stairs a breeze! Oh yes...and um...it doesn't fit through a standard door!!! Good thing we have double doors leading off our bedroom and the lounge. So while I won't be able to whizz them all through the house, I will be able to load them up and get them out of the house and all the way down our 100 or so steps - I am going to get SO fit!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
It is here...
Our pram just arrived!!! So exciting - I had to open the box and check it out already at work. I can't wait to get home and put it all together! I still can't believe how efficient it was ordering it from the US...it took 2 weeks to get here from date of order with no fuss and it worked out so much cheaper than buying a similiar pram in SA! Awesome. I am pondering whether to cancel my car-seat orders and to rather import instead as I could save R1500...am enquiring now!
The twins have been kicking me down there a lot, so wondering if their feet are both pointing down now - can't wait to see how they are lying at tomorrow's scan. Hoping my cervix is still 3cm with no change too.
Last night I dreamt that I gave preterm birth to 4 baby girls. They were all okay but in NICU and 2 had dark hair and 2 had blonde hair...very vivid dream! Usually up to now, I dream about the twins as a reality in most of the dream stories - I am pregnant and expecting them and all is as it is in real life, so this was a strange first - probably because I have preterm labour on the mind at the moment.
Here is another belly pic...24 weeks...
Funny how some women say I am carrying so small and others think I am carrying really huge...I think I am getting rather large but loving it!
The twins have been kicking me down there a lot, so wondering if their feet are both pointing down now - can't wait to see how they are lying at tomorrow's scan. Hoping my cervix is still 3cm with no change too.
Last night I dreamt that I gave preterm birth to 4 baby girls. They were all okay but in NICU and 2 had dark hair and 2 had blonde hair...very vivid dream! Usually up to now, I dream about the twins as a reality in most of the dream stories - I am pregnant and expecting them and all is as it is in real life, so this was a strange first - probably because I have preterm labour on the mind at the moment.
Here is another belly pic...24 weeks...
Funny how some women say I am carrying so small and others think I am carrying really huge...I think I am getting rather large but loving it!
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